MarkTwain	A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MarkTwain	A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
MarkTwain	A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
MarkTwain	A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
MarkTwain	A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
MarkTwain	A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
MarkTwain	A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
MarkTwain	Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
MarkTwain	Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
MarkTwain	Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
MarkTwain	Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
MarkTwain	All generalizations are false, including this one.
MarkTwain	All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MarkTwain	All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
MarkTwain	Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
MarkTwain	Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
MarkTwain	Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
MarkTwain	Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
MarkTwain	Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
MarkTwain	Better a broken promise than none at all.
MarkTwain	Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
MarkTwain	By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
MarkTwain	Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
MarkTwain	Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
MarkTwain	'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
MarkTwain	Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
MarkTwain	Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
MarkTwain	Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
MarkTwain	Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
MarkTwain	Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MarkTwain	Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
MarkTwain	Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
MarkTwain	Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
MarkTwain	Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
MarkTwain	Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
MarkTwain	Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
MarkTwain	Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
MarkTwain	Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
MarkTwain	Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
MarkTwain	Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
MarkTwain	Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
MarkTwain	Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
MarkTwain	Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
MarkTwain	Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
MarkTwain	Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MarkTwain	Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.
MarkTwain	George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
MarkTwain	Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
MarkTwain	Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
MarkTwain	Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
MarkTwain	God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
MarkTwain	Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
MarkTwain	Golf is a good walk spoiled.
MarkTwain	Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
MarkTwain	Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MarkTwain	Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
MarkTwain	Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
MarkTwain	He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
MarkTwain	He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
MarkTwain	Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
MarkTwain	Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
MarkTwain	I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
MarkTwain	I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
MarkTwain	I can live for two months on a good compliment.
MarkTwain	I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MarkTwain	I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
MarkTwain	I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MarkTwain	I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
MarkTwain	I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
MarkTwain	I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MarkTwain	I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
MarkTwain	I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MarkTwain	I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
MarkTwain	I never let schooling interfere with my education.
MarkTwain	I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
MarkTwain	I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MarkTwain	Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
MarkTwain	If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
MarkTwain	If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
MarkTwain	If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
MarkTwain	In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MarkTwain	In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
MarkTwain	It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
MarkTwain	It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
MarkTwain	It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
MarkTwain	It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
MarkTwain	It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
MarkTwain	It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
MarkTwain	It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
MarkTwain	It is easier to stay out than get out.
MarkTwain	It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
MarkTwain	It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
MarkTwain	It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
MarkTwain	It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
MarkTwain	It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
MarkTwain	It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
MarkTwain	It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
MarkTwain	It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
MarkTwain	Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MarkTwain	Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
MarkTwain	Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MarkTwain	Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
MarkTwain	Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
MarkTwain	Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
MarkTwain	Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
MarkTwain	Loyalty to petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MarkTwain	Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MarkTwain	Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
MarkTwain	Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MarkTwain	Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MarkTwain	Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MarkTwain	Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
MarkTwain	Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
MarkTwain	Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
MarkTwain	My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MarkTwain	My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
MarkTwain	Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MarkTwain	Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
MarkTwain	Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
MarkTwain	No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
MarkTwain	Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
MarkTwain	Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
MarkTwain	Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MarkTwain	Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MarkTwain	One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MarkTwain	Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
MarkTwain	Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
MarkTwain	Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MarkTwain	Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
MarkTwain	Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
MarkTwain	Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
MarkTwain	Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
MarkTwain	Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
MarkTwain	Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
MarkTwain	Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
MarkTwain	Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
MarkTwain	Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
MarkTwain	The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
MarkTwain	The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
MarkTwain	The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
MarkTwain	The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
MarkTwain	The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
MarkTwain	The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
MarkTwain	The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
MarkTwain	The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
MarkTwain	The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
MarkTwain	The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
MarkTwain	The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
MarkTwain	The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MarkTwain	The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
MarkTwain	The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MarkTwain	The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
MarkTwain	The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
MarkTwain	The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
MarkTwain	The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MarkTwain	The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
MarkTwain	There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
MarkTwain	There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
MarkTwain	There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
MarkTwain	There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MarkTwain	There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
MarkTwain	There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
MarkTwain	There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
MarkTwain	Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
MarkTwain	Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
MarkTwain	To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
MarkTwain	To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
MarkTwain	To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
MarkTwain	Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
MarkTwain	Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
MarkTwain	Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
MarkTwain	Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
MarkTwain	Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
MarkTwain	We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
MarkTwain	We are all alike, on the inside.
MarkTwain	What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
MarkTwain	What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
MarkTwain	What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
MarkTwain	When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
MarkTwain	When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
MarkTwain	When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
MarkTwain	When in doubt tell the truth.
MarkTwain	When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
MarkTwain	When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
MarkTwain	Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
MarkTwain	Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
MarkTwain	Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
MarkTwain	Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
MarkTwain	Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself.
MarkTwain	Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
MarkTwain	Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
MarkTwain	Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
MarkTwain	You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.